It was a small victory, finding a Miraclesuit at Costco! Not only was it a stunning blue, but it was a real bargain - 60% less than other advertised prices! I left for home with smug smile on my face. I envisioned adding a pair of black swim shorts, and I would be set for the season. Ta da!
Done! No more store shopping, internet hunting, or catalog hunting for that elusive swimsuit,(meaning something passable in public).
The scene at home, however, quickly fell apart. That suit was made of rubber bands, the thick kind that snap hard if you're not careful. There might have been some steel reinforcements in there as well, though I'm not sure. I squished and pulled and twisted that Blue Loveliness like nobody's business. Truth be told, once I was strapped in I couldn't actually stand up straight, nor could I breathe. But sometimes we women have to sacrifice beauty for comfort. Perhaps I could just lay by a pool without moving. I was willing.
But the mirror told the whole story. There was no miracle in that Miraclesuit. No fat disappeared and no inches were lost. You know what happened? EVERYTHING ON MY BODY WAS JUST SHIFTED, WITH EVERY MOVEABLE PART SQUISHED UP AND AROUND AND DOWN AND OUT. The outer regions were a site to behold.
Do French women have these difficulties?